© 2017 by Clare P


I'm not invisible or dead, I am a 40 plusser

May 13, 2018

A 40+ woman's take on modern day lifestyle, championing the fact that at this 40+ age we are more alive than ever. 'DON'T TELL ME I CAN'T DO THAT, TELL ME I CAN' which is the something I want to SHOUT about this week. I think the picture above gives a clear indication of my reaction to anyone who tells me I can't. Embracing my inner child and sticking my tongue out at any disbelievers...


Hands up in the air and shake them around like you just don't care, if you have ever been told ’you can't do that'...???  Yup, I thought so, a sea of waving arms all around the world connecting with that negative phrase I will refer to as YouCan'tDoThat (YCDT). Oh, and by the way, YES, I CAN! Oh, and by the way YES YOU CAN!


So, can I ask what or who was it? Who told you that? A teacher? A parent? A boss? A partner? A friend? A shop assistant? A magazine? A blog...???? I can think of numerous occasions when the YCDT phrase was uttered and do you know what? as a younger girl I believed them. Do you know what? as a 40 plusser , I am challenging them! So, do you know what? as a 40 plusser I am learning to let it go....



 A teacher saying YCDT  career as you are not good enough/don't have the right qualifications/skills/attitude. A parent saying YCDT as nobody has done that before/that's not how it works/you are too young/too old/too tall/too small. A partner saying YCDT as you don't have the time/too tired/too crazy/too lazy/it's impossible. A boss who says YCDT as you don't have the experience/not  ready/too much of a step ahead/not in the job description/too forward thinking. The friend who says YCDT because what would others think/people our age don't do that/I don't want to lose you/ it’s too big a change. The shop assistant who says YCDT and wear skinny jeans you're a size 18....Oh yes, I can, and I WILL.... 


Over the years of working one to one with REAL people and the majority of 40 plusser women, who have all experiend the YCDT syndromme.  These put downs, doubts and unsupportive actions have been carried around for decades.  Learning how to let IT go will be your biggest gift to yourself



 Start listening to the words 'You can do it' and 'I will'. Listen to the inner voice, listen to the little girl who wanted to SCREAM 'but I DO want to be a BBC newsreader'!

What would you say to that little girl now?


How do we change the CAN'T to the CAN??

Is it that easy if we have been preconditioned to a life of YCDT? 



I'm taking myself out of the negative narrative

The one I let defeat me for so long,

Is now gone.

Those words that were spoken are words of your own fears,

A projection of failure to hold back my years.

The power you took from me,

Is now gone


I'm replacing myself into the positive mindset

The one I craved for so long,

Is now here.

The words that I own are now powerful 

An enlightenment of love and I see

The power I take is from ME

Is now here.



Grab yourself a journal, a diary a piece of paper and write down what you CAN do, when someone in the past or present has led you to believe that you CAN'T.


Here's mine:


1. I CAN start a business

2. I CAN start a business and have a family

3. I CAN start a business, have a family and make it successful

4. I CAN start a business, have a family, make it succesful and be a curvy woman

5. I CAN start a business, have a family, make it succesful, have curves and be a 40 plusser


Now imagine you are standing on top of a mountain, clear skies, beautiful view, silent.

Now imagine you are standing on top of a mountain, clear skies, beautiful view and the silence breaks because there stands a crazed 40 plusser screaming at the top of her voice ICAN.....








Now for a quick change of subject to colour:




Visibility and a voice is a choice.

Yellow and red however, is more of a statement

Like my little flower to the right. A colour combination of energy (yellow) and power (red), a force to be reckoned with -

'Someone who is strong and cannot be ignored'.

I would also add, that someone who is soft and may not feel so strong, but can wear yellow and red and FEEL IT (cos I am a feeler) and shout from that mountain once again!








I have been absent for the last couple of weeks due to igniting my old flame for adventure. In 'The Spirit of Adventure' I thank my fellow tree hugging, vegan, self proclaimed witch, bouncy mindful coach, Mary Poppins Psychologies Ambassadors for a journey of a lifetime. More to be revealed in next weeks blog. Plus a reunion of family members, a new BFF and a lesson in Guiness. 




My lovely 40 plussers, I wish you the best week ahead  full of many things that you CAN do. 

If you would like to learn more about 'Now it's all about ME', check ME out here


Stay golden














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