© 2017 by Clare P


I am not invisible, or dead, I am a 40 plusser

June 23, 2018

A 40+ woman's take on modern day lifestyle, championing the fact that at this 40+ age we are more alive than ever.





For the love of all things technical. What is it with my techno tantrums? Anyone else suffer with this dis-ease?

As a life coach, colour stylist and space creator of wardrobes, I need to be present. That is my need, a personal, honest and connected relationship between me and my  40 plussers. This is what my lovely 40 plussers ask for too. So, how is this achievable when techno tantrums get in the way? How is this achievable and authentic when communication is predominantly digital?


I hear a lot about imposter syndrome, problems with procrastination, internal fears, failure phobic but this week I’d love to chat to you about just feelings of complete incompetence when it comes to all things digital.

Anyone else want to throw gadgets, iPhones, iPads and laptops out of the window or is it just me? My work phone nearly got the ‘chop’ a few weeks ago as after many frustrating hours, I was told that my mobile number had in fact been given to someone else!


Do you suffer from techno tantrums?


I try my best, I do my techno warm-up exercises to get in the ‘zone’ before use. The mental preparation to tackle each day can be exhausting, but don’t worry there is probably an App to calculate my mental exhaustion, so that’s OK!


Give me a pen! A piece of paper! A human. A voice. An opportunity to feel energy from another person or to smell a memory (suntan lotions and holidays). To actually take the hand of another or the opportunity to listen to silence. Relaxing isn’t it?


During life coaching we focus a lot on personality types, the things that makes each person tick, strengths and weaknesses and loving all aspects, warts and all. As my specific personality type who ranks their highest core values as honesty, its no wonder I feel like I suffer from imposter syndrome when I use digital platforms (as for platforms they were the Vivienne Westwood shoe of amazement #backintheday). Look I am even writing a blog, which is great, so my written voice can be heard, but I’d rather you be reading this in book form or listening to me. I hope the essence of me comes across, this worries me. Can I really be my true digital self? Can you?



Over whelmed


Over loaded


Over IT (that’s the information technology IT)






No surprises now when I tell you that I am partial to the odd techno tantrum. Picture a 5-year-old girl, blonde pony tails and blue stripy school uniform. Always happy, always smiling and always playing with her collection of toys. Now picture her face after her brother has torn up her favourite Black Beauty poster. Screaming, angry, crying and ready to spontaneously combust. Fast forward 40 plusser years and that grown up girl has just reinacted the same scene, but this time its over a blog and not Black Beauty.






Can you really gain self-care from an App and it be authentic? Purposeful? Can coaching be delivered in the manner it has been intended face to face but instead through a gadget? It’s functional - I hear YOU and great for the time poor, but where is that genuine connection between coach and client? Surely this is part of the process? Well it is with me.



My connection and strength are with people, living ones, with pulses and problems. My wonderful small and perfectly formed business full of love for what I provide, handmade, overly thought out, built with years of experience, is for YOU. It is almost heart breaking to know that the success of my blood, sweat and tears creation, lies in the hands of technology. My 40 plussers can relate to some of these frustrations and would happily put pen to paper, write daily journals, letters and let’s not mention the dying art of postcards #wishyouwerehere.



My honesty shares with you my ‘out of my comfort zone’ technical issues. Next time you read my blog, see a post on my new Facebook Group ‘I’m not invisible or dead, I am a 40 plusser’ or a tweet, be rest assured that this has probably taken several attempts a few tears, seriously damaging amounts of coffee and a couple of techno tantrums!



 My motivation gets me through, YOU are my motivation.



If digital detoxing and social media addiction concerns you, how can we live a life less digital? Switch off would be the easy answer, but it is not that easy. Balance is the answer, love or hate it, techno tantrums are here to stay. When my partner tells me, I am glued to my iPhone, it’s usually because I am trying to figure something out!   


 Where the new techno social media language of DMs, which were a shoe of choice in the 80s, and PMs, which were Prime Ministers not messages and god forbid don’t ask for a Blueberry phone!

A few weeks ago, I tweeted a picture of *You*Me*A Diary* by Dawn French #superfan 


This is what I tweeted:


6 months down the line, everyone who fought for this to be opened at Christmas are they still reading and journaling?!? Dawn French you make my heart sing and my laughter gauge rocket even if I am sitting solo on a bench @Dawn_French

To my amazement Dawn French ‘LIKED’ my post…..In my naivety I had visions of Dawn #superfan sitting in her garden in Cornwall, reading my comment thinking ‘ah what a lovely thing to say’. Please don’t tell me any different!!


Your comments are always appreciated, hec you could always write me a letter!!


Stay colourful my 40 plussers






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