Welcome to my blog, I am not invisible or dead, I am a 40 plusser. This blog is a 40+ woman's take on modern day lifestyle, championing the fact that at this 40+ age we are more alive than ever.
This week I am challenging the phrase ‘mid-life crisis’ and asking women of the world to unite, join in and exercise the right to say, ‘I am having a mid-life calling’. It’s way more positive, probably more accurate, and different from our parents’ generation and follows on from last week’s blog, ‘Does life really begin after 40?’; a new generation bringing fresh eyes onto old taboos. So, it is time to ditch the ‘menopause’ and embrace the ‘womenonpause’. This renaming clearly states that ‘women’ are ‘pausing’ for a temporary period (no pun) while a few hormones interfere until the time is right to return to a new state of freedom and liberation!
Bursts into song *Freedom* *I will survive* *Sisters are doing it for themselves*
We need these feelings of confusion, identity issues and brain fog to lead us to the biggest wake-up call in life. We CAN do it. How to do ‘it’, however, is the question we need to answer. It's so refreshing not to feel like you need to conform, or please, or do the right thing, and do you know why? Because we are grown adults, with an independent working brain and some 40+ years of life experience to help figure this out. I am not a door mat, nor am I trying to please my parents, and if you want to change direction, career, home, partner or nothing at all, guess what? That is your choice.
Your choice, your voice
9 signs you are having a mid-life calling
1. Returning to learning
A sudden ‘Educating Rita’-type urge comes over you. A desire to follow a topic you love and not your parents' influence or a careers adviser suggestion, but YOURS. Time to learn a language? Been secretly looking at the adult education course guide on ‘Learn Italian’ or ‘Spanish for beginners’? Suddenly got the urge to learn how to sew properly? YES. YES. YES….!
2. Knowing it’s OK to fancy a silver fox
Remember when we were in the growing up stage and anyone with a beard or a single grey hair was ‘ancient’ or ‘weird looking’. OK in this era we were subjected to Jimmy Saville, DLT and Stuart Hall so I rest my case. However, now there is a surge in sexy silver foxes, George Clooney, George Lamb, Mark Foster and even Idris is rocking a few strands of that silver lining.
3. A sudden urge to attack your hair with new styles, colours and even extensions
Well, have you? Did you have a hair makeover at this age or are you contemplating it? Bored of having the same hairstyle for years and suddenly going in for the big chop or colour? Change is often reflected in appearance and I can honestly say, my 40 plussers love the new colours and styling that I am able to provide. I don’t ‘do’ hair but I have lots of it #hairbearbunch and experimented with all different styles, including a shorter style when I turned 40 - I soon grew it out! As for fringes!!! The perfect way to cover up the ‘11’ sign that appears between your eyebrows 😊
4. A car you love and NOT one that is practical
This is the equivalent for NOT shopping for sensible age appropriate clothing, but shopping for something you want that suits your life, style and colour. The new car. Unlike the menfolk most of us female 40 plussers are more interested in the colour and being small enough to park the darn thing, especially in Morrisons car park! We are not talking Porsches, but something cute and not bought for practical reasons. How I hated our grey/silver non-descript colour Citroen Picasso, but hey, it fitted multiple children in it, bikes, scooters, camping equipment and the occasional elderly relative. I am now a proud owner of ‘Minty’ (as pictured above). I love her
5. The 3-day white wine hangover
The heat wave of 2018 brings sunshine, buzzing BBQs, happy smiley people and a lot of white wine. I mean a lot … the mid-life calling is in fact shouting: ‘change to GIN’ and you’ll only get a two-day hangover. In the Bridget Jones era it was Chardonnay, which I can honestly say makes me and my girlfriends gag, but the popularity of a crisp Sauv blanc or a Gavi with a bucket load of olives makes a great gathering. Moderation is now key, quality is everything!
6. Books on self-acceptance and self-esteem are now firmly in the book case or coffee table
Self-esteem stems from self-acceptance. This means that you need to accept who you are and not who you think you’re supposed to be. This also means that you need to accept your good qualities and your bad ones. And you thought I was perfect!! Oh, how I love and embrace my imperfections.
The difference between Me years ago (heavily influenced and unsure of who I was) and ME now (loving myself warts and all) is huge. Learning to love the weaknesses as well as the strengths is liberating. Do you? If you are unsure, then I am here with a variety of coaching services
Or check this blog out
7. Your cupboards are full of gluten free, soya and dairy free products.
Welcome to the age of food intolerances. Our bodies have been tolerating certain food types for years and are finally rebelling against us. If your body could talk, what would it say to you? Mine would be screaming ‘don’t ever put white bread in your mouth again’ or ‘pizza, are you sure’? So, it is expensive and still not everyone has understood the fact that if you eat ‘stuff’' your body doesn’t like, it’s going to make you feel bad. It is not a trendy fad and I am not climbing on the Vegan January train either, for me Gluten hates me. Simple. Check out my friend’s new business, I am so excited for her and did taste one of her irresistible Free From chocolate brownies this week – Thanks
8. Your long-term career suddenly fills you with dread and despair
Hands up who is still in the same job they had when they first stepped out into the big bad world of WORK? I can’t see many hands out there. It's no longer like our parents' generation, when you had a ‘job for life’. This is now frowned upon as safe, boring and a reflection of a person’s character, that they are uneasy with change. We all change and what made our hearts sing aged 25 may be completely different aged 45. Change is an unfamiliar place for most, so be kind to yourself. Can you change career in mid-life? Hell yeah!
Especially with a little help from a friend.ME
9. When you throw open your wardrobe doors to a sea of navy and grey (Grevy) and long for colour
If we combine colour and the seven-year cycle of change, it is not surprising that most of my Colour clients are aged 35+ all with the same burning desire to break free from the ‘grevy’ and ‘greige’ and into a colour, but without looking like a kaleidoscope of clashing mess, rather a sophisticated and elegant, hot 40 plusser.
If we look at the theory of the Seven Chakra Life cycle this shows us that
our inner philosopher is born from 35 to 42. This life cycle is guided by the Third Eye Chakra. We begin to look for the meaning in everything. We need to walk the walk, we cannot just talk the talk anymore. It is the final battle between the Wisdom of Heart and the Wisdom of Logic. I love the chakra colours, third eye is a creative indigo/purple, which, in fact, suits everyone!
Purple is creative.
Crown Chakra is the main energy source during the last cycle of our “spiritual childhood”. It is the time when we have a choice. We can either listen to our ego – stop evolving and begin to decay or we follow the voice of our higher self and begin to co-operate with Nature through realising our own creative potential that was given to us at birth. The Crown Chakra colour is a vibrant cerise/violet blend. This only proves that as we age, our colours need to be confidently vibrant, showing the world that ‘we are not invisible or dead but are in fact 40 plussers’.
I have just received these Colour Cards and will start using them in my colour sessions for more than ‘just having your colours done’ experience, if you wish. More details are here