At what age do you become an embarrassing parent/grown up? Have we have moved on from an era of cringe-worthy ‘Dad/Mum dancing’ or ‘speaking YOOF’ with our children or even worse, our children’s friends? Or not? In fact, I think my moves are half decent, considering I grew up in 80s/90s clubbing world. Not sure about the other half still breaking into ‘running man’ at any given opportunity.
When do the differences occur? The divide? The moment you know you are a 40 plusser and actually don’t give a damn. I will dance and I will ‘get down with the kids’.
Youth culture, whether it is millennial or Gen Z, is a blend of new language, shortened words and living in real-life Memes (god forbid I should pronounce it ME–ME ever again).
Welcome to I am not invisible or dead, I am a 40 plusser but this week I am slightly confused and reflective over the slip ups that us 40 plussers on occasion make, much to the hilarity of our offspring. I wanted to collate not an urban dictionary but a ‘40 plusser’ guide to avoid using it at all costs.
The 40-plusser guide to a one-way ticket to a ‘cringefest’
1. Aubergine emoji
Well, if you have missed something off your shopping list and plan on making that tasty Malaysian beef and aubergine curry (or tofu, depending on dinner guest dietary requirements), you need to think again before you send this emoji to your ‘constantly out and about teens’ to ask them nicely to pick up an aubergine if they pass Morrisons - they really will die of embarrassment – or think that you are an utter ….. aubergine. My god there is even an emojipedia if you want to find out more.
2. Netflix and chill
Excuse me if I ask to pass the TV remote as Dad and I want to watch some Netflix and chill out on a Saturday night. Who knew it was a thing, until it was a thing. I am still getting my head around not saying ‘video’ instead of CD -let alone the power of Netflix. Let alone anything else involved with this phrase!
Peanuts, cashews, popcorn, some occasional meals out and most Chinese dishes can all be referred to as Salty – but people? How did that happen – I can see how the word bitter was a great way to describe mean and vindictive people, as there was a link, but Salty? Any explanations?
Oh, come one - is it really that difficult to add the end syllable onto this? Or are you just too laid back to speak? K?
So, this is as ridiculous as it sounds and makes a bad stiletto brand in a hip hop street style for going out-out, as seen on The Apprentice. It flopped as much as it fleeked.
We simply have no fleeking idea what this means so wish not to fleek about it anymore. Whether my eyebrows are on fleek or not **huffs**.
There was a point where the book Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche was a best seller in the 1980s. Bruce Ferstein's tongue-in-cheek book smashed the image of the stereotypical man. Now if you refer to other people as ‘quiche’ it doesn't mean they are cheesy, flaky or just plain dull. Nope, none of that – just hot. My argument would be there are plenty hotter things to pick – like a chilli?? Just saying (or is that one outdated) #solastyear #doIcare
Who doesn’t love a nursery story and tales of good versus evil? Princesses and castles were magical and exciting. The trolls were either the monsters that lived under the bridge, or a toy inventor who ate one too many smarties, and took plastic and big hair to another level.
Now that one I know as I blogged about it last week. To find out who was JO or FO read here ‘What’s JOMO and when can I go’ said FOMO
Something I wish my partner had done while driving down our road this week, instead of crashing into the neighbour’s car - I think our neighbour will be ‘swerving’ us for some time
10. Spilling the tea
In most cases a cry of get a cloth quick, or a moan about the mess, but this is way more juicer and would probably need a few cups to get to the spilling bit.
In a Gen X or Baby Boomer response I have created 40-plusser talk
Let the kids get down with the mids
Creek - The noise my bones make when standing up
No Chance - A phrase muttered by every parent on a Saturday/Sunday morning while dreaming of a lie in
Brow Fixer - An essential ritual to fix the mistakes we made by plucking the living daylights out of them to look like Farrah Fawcett Majors
Shut the front door - Because it’s cold
If you are like ME and want to watch Netflix and chill on a Saturday night without teenage sniggers, join in the 40-plusser revolution and shout from the rooftops ‘I don’t care’.
Stay colourful my friends